Yes, there is such a thing as ‘free speech’. I may hate those people who are racist, sexist or homophobic in their own head, but thankfully the subject is very rarely approached over lunch.
Strange then, that a conversation last night with a complete stranger (she was on my course, but still) resulted in a chat about mental health. One student commented on the dismissal of someone who did something unacceptable in their job. That woman who was fired later turned out to have Bipolar Disorder. The other student at our dinner table then made the mistake of saying she thought the woman was ‘crazy’ and that she wouldn’t want anyone who had Bipolar to be looking after her children. Ii was then prompted to remark that if the action was done while the woman was experiencing a manic state, surely it was unfair dismissal?
Up until this point, I had tried to be kind. I had made conversation. I had not shown this girl who thought mental health problems meant people were ‘crazy’ that I was practically shaking with indignation. The girl repeated her earlier comment and the table fell quiet. Perhaps this was what prompted me later on, while talking to a friend about doctors appointments in front of the girl, to mention I needed to have regular appointments because I was being tested for bipolar.
Funnily enough, the girl went absolutely white, stared at me, and spent the rest of the evening looking suitably shame-faced.
What I do find really strange, is that all of us at that table are doing a subject at university that is generally thought to be quite liberal. How can someone sit and emotionally discuss the evils of topics such as segregation and the need for equality, when they don’t actually believe in it themselves? It seems pretty backward to me, and, on some level, this girl must have thought so too, otherwise she wouldn’t have reacted like she did when I said that.
And, while I may or may not have Bipolar, I am perfectly unashamed of who I am. My problems do not define me, they just make me myself. And I’ve always been a person who is unable to deal with those small-minded, prejudiced people who don’t have the capacity to think in a civilized way. Therefore, if you’re silly enough to say something to a complete stranger over Thanksgiving dinner, you can rest assured you should either be willing to defend what you say or shut up.
And maybe, in these situations, it really is best to keep opinions to yourself.
coffeeandmissingstars 